Hi everyone. There’s so much I could share with you today, but I am going to make this post brief because I want to have some quality prayer, worship, and Bible reading time this evening.
On Wednesday, with the help of the pastor from a church I used to go to and one of his congregants, I moved all my belongings to the new flat. It went pretty smoothly, with limited contact with the troublesome neighbour, and the pastor was happy that I could donate many of my old belongings to the church. It was a tiring day (actually, that’s an understatement; I was completely shattered by the time everything was loaded in and unpacked!) but thank God there was no major trouble.
Since moving in, things have been tough. There’s a couple staying in the flat who haven’t exactly given me a warm welcome. I’ve also had a problem in that my bank messed up the process of issuing me with a new card for my new address, so I might have to wait a week for that to arrive. There’s also been lots to sort out in terms of finances, updating my address in many places, cancelling certain direct debits, and a host of other things.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time in prayer over the last couple of days, and today I found myself reaching for one of my Bibles. God directed me to Psalm 6, and it is an incredibly relevant psalm that really speaks into my circumstances:
O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure.
2 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak;
O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled;
But You, O Lord—how long?
4 Return, O Lord, deliver me!
Oh, save me for Your mercies’ sake!
5 For in death there is no remembrance of You;
In the grave who will give You thanks?
6 I am weary with my groaning;
[b]All night I make my bed swim;
I drench my couch with my tears.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief;
It grows old because of all my enemies.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity;
For the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my supplication;
The Lord will receive my prayer.
10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled;
Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.
I’m yet to fully understand why God has moved me from my previous accommodation to this new flat. It is, of course, a great relief to be free from that troublesome neighbour, but I have been really struggling to understand what plans God has for me here. I don’t yet feel settled. I know I already shared with you my plans to set up a business, but I need to pray about all aspects of that and whether it will be wise to apply for a small business loan at this time.
It might surprise you to know that I’m planning to visit a local church on Sunday. It could be a really difficult and frustrating experience, because of my theological problems (often shared on this blog) with the Christian faith, but there’s a part of me that feels I need Jesus and that He is perhaps the answer to my troubles (there’s no need to comment saying “Yes, Jesus is the way!” because I fully understand that Christians believe this and while I’m not a theological expert when it comes to Christianity, I’m certainly not a novice — read this essay and you’ll understand).
I will keep you posted, but (once again) I ask for your prayers, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayer support surrounding the move and everything else. I am very fortunate to have such amazingly kind readers.
Peace and blessings,
Steven
Perfect Chaos 
26 responses to “The Pull Towards Jesus”
I will continue to pray for you brother. I encourage you to keep drawing close to Jesus! God bless you!
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Thank you very much, Ryan! God bless you too my friend 🙂
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Glad to hear you made it to your new place! Hope you have a peaceful and enlightening time at church and that you feel settled soon.
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Thank you very much, Esther! I appreciate the kind words 😊 Hope all is well with you.
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I’ve been praying through many of the laments lately. I’ll be praying for you as well – for peace, direction, discernment, and a certain sense of Gods presence and work in your life.
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Sounds wonderful, Jennifer! Thank you so much. I’ll have to look up the laments. God bless you!
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Psalm 6 can be described as an individual lament, although not everyone does. 🙂
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Ah, okay! Thanks Jennifer 🙏🏻
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Prayers are meditation. They empower you from within and make you do the right thing. I am happy for you that your life is again on the right track, slowly and surely. Have faith and everything will be fine. Keep me on your prayers as well
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Thank you very much, May! Just said a prayer for you. Appreciate the reassuring words 😊
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Glad you didn’t get hassle from your old neighbour during the move. Hope you feel settled soon. Praying for you.
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Yeah, that was such a blessing! Thank you very much, I hope so too. God bless you!
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Beautiful post, Steven. I so appreciate reading about your humbleness to simply ‘obey’, as it were, the pull.
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Thank you, Tara! Everything feels somewhat strange at the moment but I’m doing my best. God bless you.
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Prayers for you brother!
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Thank you so much!
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Things happen in accordance with God’s will. I join you in prayers and hope that He reveals His plans to you in his perfect and beautiful time.
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Thank you, Tina. I really appreciate those words. God bless you 🙏🏻
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Still praying. Glad you are keeping us updated!
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Thank you, Lily!
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I just prayed for you, Stephen, after reading. I know having new flatmates and adjusting to new environments can be hard (I’ve had toxic ones myself) but give it time.
I’m glad God drew you to the Psalms; they’re a great reminder of the human experience and all it entails. I hope you had an enlightening experience at the local church. Praying for you.
Blessings!
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Thank you very much for your kindness, Dylan. God bless you 🙏🏻
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