Woe is me! Just kidding, but I feel like my blog posts are a bit like that at the moment. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sharing some personal reflections rather than much philosophy and theology at this time.
I went to the hospital today for a routine medical appointment related to my mental health condition. Wow. Things in London have deteriorated to the point of hopelessness. The only consultant I am allowed to see is anti-religious (not a great help when my whole life centres upon religion), the person who is supposed to be responsible for my ‘care’ didn’t contact me for eight weeks despite me leaving four messages for him to get in touch. When I told him today some of my very serious complaints about the mental health team, he laughed (this guy is the assistant manager!). I have also had no contact from the housing association about my accommodation problems. Maybe ‘woe is me’ is actually appropriate!
Tonight is the last night I can afford to stay in the budget hotel, from tomorrow I’ll be sleeping on the streets. As I explained in yesterday’s post, returning to the flat is not a safe option. In all seriousness, if anyone reading this has any experience of homelessness and has any helpful advice to offer, please send me an email.
I was outside the hotel yesterday and a bunch of school kids were attacking someone. It makes me sick. Fortunately, a police car drove past at the right moment and made some noise, and they ran off.
Yesterday (also outside the hotel) I spoke with a man who was selling items out of a box. The items he was selling were junk, but I bought a couple of things, some gel pens and tissues (neither of which I need) to support him. I wish in retrospect I’d just given him the cash, because now I have six pens and five packs of tissues that I don’t need. Maybe God will use them somehow. Anyway, this man said he HAS to steal to make money. No he doesn’t, and I told him he doesn’t. Being evil is a choice, and you never have to take it. It’s better to die in poverty than choose to do evil and use the excuse that you ‘have to’.
Earlier today, I saw two pigeons fighting, literally biting each other’s heads and necks over a scrap of food. It was a small round cheese biscuit. I just broke it in half and gave half to each pigeon. It’s really not ever necessary to fight, and I’m dismayed that animals are seemingly just as evil as humans (possibly much worse).
Every day you can choose to be kind and do good or you can choose to be unkind and do evil. From a human perspective, there is no compulsion either way, but you will only choose to do good if God, who is the controller of all people, wills you to do so. So pray to Him, and ask Him to develop your character so that your actions are closer to what is right.
I prayed for sunshine earlier because it has been cloudy here for days. The sun came out for a while earlier and as I type, it has just come out again, thanks be to God. I’m hoping for good weather if I’m sleeping rough, of course, and would appreciate prayers for my safety. Also, if you are in a financially fortunate position, please consider helping me out with a donation.
I’m going to try using a photo taken with my smartphone to accompany my upcoming posts as I will probably be blogging from my phone in the coming days. I have to be careful, though, as I want to keep my location private for safety reasons.
I remain optimistic, largely because I have a copy of the Qur’an with me, which I read every day. Remember that I have many books available exploring all the big problems and questions of philosophy and theology. You can find out more on the books page. Thank you for reading!