Reflections on Friendship

Two friends sitting down together

After a very productive ‘deep and meaningful’ conversation with one of my best friends recently, I started to reflect on the nature of friendship, and a few thoughts emerged regarding what constitutes a healthy friendship. These are my reflections.

There is a place of true connectedness where both friends can be free to be their childlike selves β€” there is a zone where nothing is being suppressed and where all emotions can be expressed without reservation or tension; happiness, sadness, anger, joy, frustration, anxiety, etc. In the zone of pure friendship, much laughter is to be found. Laughter arises quite spontaneously when both friends feel at ease, which is the result of sharing openly. There are no awkward silences in the zone – silences, maybe, but they are comfortable and natural.

The zone can be reached by talking in depth about our experience of being in the present moment. We can ask our friend the question, ‘What are you feeling right now?’. It is helpful to explore what is going on in the body. Do I feel nervous? Tense? Fragile? Exploring these things in the context of a friendship helps us to open up, and to feel at ease.

There are normally stories attached to our present moment feelings, which can be expressions of a more complex past. These stories might be of hurt, frustration, or loneliness, and might be the result of years of negative feeling being somehow stored up in the body. To share these stories can be liberating, can help heal broken hearts, and can help friends feel closer together.

In a true friendship there is no need or possessiveness, but instead there is an unconditional love. When you love a person for who they are, you don’t need them, you simply want them to be happy.

There never needs to be a reason for a friendship, and it can be damaging to say that your friend is your friend for a specific reason; because they make you laugh, or because you have the same taste in music, for instance. A deep and true friendship will be about so much more that what you have in common with someone β€” it will be about love.

Friendships are a gift from God and a true blessing. They are to be valued, nurtured, and worked upon, so that hurdles are overcome and a depth of connection is sustained.

This blog is mainly a philosophical theology blog, although I have on occasion shared some personal reflections such as those expressed in this post. To get more of an idea of whether or not you’d like to follow this blog, please visit the About page or check out my Books. Thank you for reading!

23 Comments on “Reflections on Friendship

  1. I was going through a major bout of un-diagnosed procrastination a few minutes ago and I found this hidden gem of a post! πŸ™‚ Wow! It’s similar to the last two posts that I made the last couple of days! I try not to read other peoples stuff so I can stay “original” haha. So I am glad I found this after I wrote my posts! I like were you said “There is a place of true connectedness where both friends can be free to be their childlike selves – there is a zone where nothing is being suppressed and where all emotions can be expressed without reservation or tension; happiness, sadness, anger, joy, frustration, anxiety, etc.” #Yes!!!! #TrueStory Child-likeness, we don’t have enough of it in the world and when people are childlike the world has a way of desensitizing them πŸ˜₯

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ahhh bless you Selasi! Glad you stumbled upon this old post, good opportunity for me to ‘dust it off’ and remember what was going on in my life when I wrote it! It’s cool that you’ve been writing about friendships and relationships too, there are some words of wisdom in your posts! God bless you and stay blogful (Ha! There’s a silly phrase I just invented πŸ˜‰) πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ahaha nice new phrase you created there! #blogful πŸ‘ŒπŸΎ yeyyyy, yeah have fun reminiscing! πŸ˜ƒ Thanks! πŸ™πŸ½ God bless you too!! Have a blessed week and stay blogful too!! 😁😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Steven, great work! Your observations, your artistic writing style, even your grammer is on point. I loved the article and will share to my facebook page. I would reblog but I have no idea how to do it. Lol. Very nice piece!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Marvin! That is so generous of you, I’m delighted you enjoyed the post! Thank you very much for sharing it. Peace and blessings πŸ™‚


  3. Hey there excellent blog! Does running a blog like this take a lot of
    work? I’ve virtually no understanding of computer programming however I had been hoping to start my
    own blog in the near future. Anyways, if you have any ideas or techniques
    for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject nevertheless I
    just wanted to ask. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi there! Many thanks for you kind words about my blog. The short answer is yes, it takes a lot of work! If you’d like some pointers, please email me (my email address is on the Contact page) and I would be happy to help! Best wishes, Steven


  4. Did this bring tears to my eyes, of course. Though we have never met, I have always felt a connection with you, especially after purchasing your first book The Philosophy of a Mad Man. For sometime now I have been going through all of the emotions. Sometimes you wish someone could understand, God is the only one who knows the ❀inside you and he’s the one we talk to the most. This post touched my heartstrings, God Bless You Friend❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I can relate to that, Cathey! God is the only one who truly understands. So glad you enjoyed my reflections on friendship. Thanks again for your support which is deeply appreciated! God bless you xx

      Liked by 1 person

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