Hi, I’m Steven, welcome to my blog! I’m a 35 year old Brit, born in Cambridge, raised in Oxfordshire, and currently living in London, England.
I’m here to discuss all the big questions that philosophers and theologians ask about life, God, reality, morality, and existence.
I have studied Philosophy and Religion at postgraduate level, but my main qualification is my life’s journey, which has been turbulent, wonderful, and very spiritual.
The world is seemingly chaotic, but in reality all events unfold under the control of an omnipotent God – that is the vision behind the title of this blog and many of the articles written here.
If you explore this blog you will find two distinct and sometimes conflicting theological perspectives. On the one hand, you’ll read about my Christian faith; my love for the gospel and the Christian Scriptures, and my profound fear of God. On the other hand, you’ll encounter my views concerning the nature of God and how He is in control of everything that happens. For me, God’s omnipresence necessarily implies that there is no free will, which is a very un-Christian belief. Hopefully you can see the predicament…
My Spiritual Journey
During my younger years I was an atheist, and I was very dismissive of the idea of God, believing religion to be fantasy and seeing believers as naive. I would even say that the idea of God angered me.
A turning point was watching my mother pass away after a gruelling battle with cancer and a hostile breakup with my father. During my mother’s illness she became very interested in new age spirituality, and I found inspiration in the teachers to whom she was looking for healing. For the first time in my life I developed a yearning for truth, and became obsessed with the idea that I could attain enlightenment or self-realisation.
After my mother died my spiritual journey became really chaotic. I went on various meditation retreats and spent my time reading and listening to many spiritual teachers, including Deepak Chopra, Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Ramana Maharshi, and many others. I experienced turbulent mental health during this time and was full of confusion, depression, and hopelessness.
I’ve been in and out of psychiatric hospital a few times, and it was actually during my first spell in hospital that I found the ‘enlightenment’ I had been searching for. Much to the surprise of those who knew me, I asked the hospital staff for a Bible, and spent hours writing out passages of Scripture in my hospital room. I began to understand the Christian gospel and developed an awareness of the reality of God for the first time.
During periods where my mental health has been stable, I’ve keenly developed my interest in religion and spirituality. I returned to university to study Philosophy and Religion (my undergraduate degree had been in Commercial Music), and I’ve attended a variety of churches since my first hospital admission in 2007. I got baptised in water in 2015, and baptised in the Holy Spirit in 2017, but I’ve continued to struggle with certain aspects of the Christian faith and don’t currently attend a church.
My spiritual journey has given me some wonderful insights into the major problems of theology, and I’ve written two books, many essays, and dozens of blog posts discussing my worldview and a wide range of issues related to philosophy, religion, spirituality, and mental health.
If you’re interested in understanding the struggle I have with the Christian faith, probably the best way is to read my essay entitled ‘An Almighty Predicament’, which can be downloaded as a free PDF here.
Your visit is hugely appreciated! Thank you and God bless you!