Perfect Chaos

The Blog of Author Steven Colborne

Some Personal Reflections

Dear readers, your prayers in recent weeks have meant the world to me, as have your likes and comments. Thank you.

I’m still in hospital. God has been most gracious and merciful to me. A few months ago I prayed for God to refine my character. Little did I know He would do so through trials. Be careful what you pray for! 😊

I realised how imperfect I am. I struggle with pride. It’s strange, because I don’t really have anything to be proud about. Yet still, this sin rears it’s ugly head in subtle and impulsive ways. I suppose I have to accept that I will never be perfect. But it doesn’t matter, because Jesus shed his blood to atone for my sins.

There are some theological matters that remain unresolved in my mind. I still struggle with the idea that Jesus is God and has existed eternally. The idea that Jesus is somehow creator of the universe seems idolatrous, at least from a certain perspective.

Nevertheless, I return to the Bible again and again. The teachings attributed to Jesus in the New Testament are so wonderful. The beatitudes in particular are ceaselessly grounding, as is the Lord’s Prayer. But I refuse to reject the Qur’an, which I know is a divine revelation. I don’t think I will resolve the contradictions between the Qur’an and the Bible on my own, but I do hang onto hope that they are not beyond resolution.

There is such power in the name of Jesus. When I cling to Jesus, my days go well. Wonderful things happen. It’s not always easy being a Christian, especially a (perhaps) unorthodox one, but I know Jesus is set apart as extremely special by God, he is the messiah, even if he isn’t God incarnate.

I have launched a Shopify store selling eBook editions of all my books, you can take a look here. If you purchase a book, you will be supporting me through financial hardship and I hope all of my books offer great value. They are an important part of my calling. After you place an order, you are able to choose your preferred eBook format and start reading immediately.

In a recent post, I mentioned a blog tour for my book Christianity, Islam, and the One True God. However, due to a lack of interest, I don’t think I will be going ahead with this. Not to worry, blog tours are kind of ‘old school’ now anyway I suppose!

I’m preparing myself psychologically for a lengthy stay on this ward. The consultant feels I am deluded, because I say God talks to me. I dispute this, but in any case my accommodation was such a minefield that I’m better off on the ward in many ways. I know not what the future holds, but I know God holds my future.

If you read my posts, I would like to encourage you to interact with likes and comments or by emailing me. I love blogging, and although I can’t approve every comment, I know this blog is so much richer due to readers who participate in the community features.

Wishing you grace, mercy, and peace from the God who is the architect of every area of our lives. Amen.

2 responses to “Some Personal Reflections”

  1. Steven,
    When you mention “sin rears it’s ugly head in subtle and impulsive ways,” I completely see this in myself. I have had a lifetime cultivating this unruly behavior. To be in perfect service to my Lord, I must remain in spiritual prostration, never raising my head up.
    My personal belief on the nature of Jesus is rooted in the works by the Sufi master, Ibn ’Arabi. He establishes God as infinite, all-encompassing. God’s creation is His limiting Himself to appear as the manifested. The “things” are never in anyway, separate from His Absoluteness as God is both the transcendent and the immanent. From this perspective, God (the unlimited) is Jesus, (God’s limited appearance as a man). So, yes, Jesus is God incarnate, but not uniquely so.
    As I see it, a problem arises in Christianity, by saying, Jesus (God’s limited appearance as a man) is the same as God (beyond any limitation). Being raised a Catholic, I was taught, “Holy Mary, mother of God.” Mary (God’s limited appearance as her) can not be the mother of God (the Absolute, Unlimited). This is why in the Al-Ikhlaṣ, Declaration of God’s Unity, in the Qur’an it states:
    Say: He is Allah, the One and Only;
    Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
    He begetteth not, nor is He begotten;
    And there is none like unto Him.
    What denotes Jesus as divine, is the man, Jesus’s place as the Perfect Servant, in perpetual, spiritual prostration. Ibn ’Arabi states that this is possible for every human, by saying:
    “When God created the earth of your body, He created within it the Ka’ba that is your heart. He made the heart house the noblest house in the faithful man. God took the heart of His servant as a house, because He made it the locus of knowledge of Him.”
    All the best, RahimGee

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Insightful, as always. Thank you for sharing, brother.


Steven Colborne

About Me

Hello, I’m Steven and I’m a philosopher and author based in London. My main purpose as a writer is to encourage discussion about God. I write about a wide variety of subjects related to philosophical theology, including divine sovereignty, the nature of God, suffering, interfaith dialogue and more. My mantra: Truth heals.

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