The Confusion of Calvinism

I’m subscribed to the Desiring God mailing list and I often read John Piper answering questions about Christian doctrine from curious believers. While I don’t think that peddling the term ‘Christian Hedonism’ is necessarily helpful, I appreciate Piper’s lengthy ministry, his biblical knowledge, and the insights he gives on theological subjects.

This week I read an interesting post on Piper’s website entitled Does God Control All Things All The Time? Aha! I thought. This is right up my street. I was genuinely interested to read what Piper had to say about this question which cuts into the heart of Christian theology.

As I read through the article I found myself in almost total agreement. I do agree with a lot of what Calvinists like Piper have to say about God’s sovereignty. But just as Piper was concluding, he made a statement that I think highlights why I could not ultimately describe myself as a Calvinist:

God’s sovereignty does not diminish our accountability.

Alarm bells immediately started ringing in my mind and my heart sank as I read these words, which represent a confusion that is at the heart of Calvinist thinking. Earlier in the article, Piper had made another statement along the same lines:

Even in situations where God is permitting, He is permitting by design.

Are you able to see the contradiction that exists in both of these quoted statements? You see, Calvinists want to strongly state God’s sovereignty and insist that salvation is solely a work of God. But the trouble is, we only need to be ‘saved’ because of rebellion against God, and this rebellion implies freedom of the human will.

Without God’s sovereignty, Calvinism doesn’t make sense, but with God’s sovereignty, Christianity doesn’t make sense.

It’s simple. If we are free to sin, then God is not in control of our lives, and so we cannot call Him sovereign. If we are not free to sin, and our lives are under God’s control, then the need for salvation, and therefore the whole Christian gospel, evaporates.

Calvinists would have to deny what I affirm, which is that we are merely puppets in the hands of God. I believe all of creation is part of God – He is omnipresent – and this is what true sovereignty means. We have to be able to affirm this truth about God and then deal with the implications for our theology, which are far-reaching, and which I have discussed at length in my paper entitled An Almighty Predicament.

What’s your understanding of this predicament? Feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts.

26 comments

    1. Starting with sin is, I think, the wrong place to begin a discussion on relating to God. We need to think what it is that will enable us to love, obey, and worship God. The ability to have God with us and in us and for us is what we are obligated to acquire if we are going to have eternal life. We cannot totally end our affliction by sin in this life but it can be reduced by the work of the Holy Spirit in us so we can rejoice in what God has done in us through his Son, Jesus Christ, which in the end is all that matters.

  1. I have had many conversations and debates with a good friend of mine on this topic and after all of that we are far from settling it. The bible seems to present to us these two pictures without resolving it philosophically – God is sovereign and humans are free. What does it mean for God to be sovereign?

  2. Its actually quite simple if we just look at the written text.

    We are all naturally born sinners with the will to sin but are given the chance to have it changed by choosing to accept Christ as our Savior, Repent of our sin (actually feel guilty and remorse and obey the words of Jesus), Be baptized for the washing of our sin then receiving the manifestation and sanctification (reborn) of the Holy Spirit that Convicts us, Guides us and leads us into all truth and ultimately Gods eternal kingdom (AFTER the tribulation and the first death of the flesh). And therefore no longer able to sin, and this is why we have the debate, because we cannot fathom the reality of an actual spiritual change in our hearts and minds aka free will, because we don’t acknowledge the spirit within.

    Free will is a reality in the flesh, but an illusion in the spirit because it is the will of our spirit that guides us. While in the flesh we have a choice, but in the spirit we ARE PRE- Destined. I know, it blows the carnal mind to pieces.

    1John 3:4-9
    4 Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.
    5 And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin.
    6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
    7 Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous.
    8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.
    9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

    1John 5:18-21
    18 We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.
    19 And we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness.
    20 And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life.
    21 Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

  3. Hi Steven,
    As you, I read John Piper’s ( Desiring God). Free will and no free will, I suppose will always be a mystery. This would be a good question to send to John Piper for a answer, but what’s the chances of getting it answered out of the millions of people that follow him?. I follow him on Facebook also and it’s astounding the likes he receives. I also wrestle with the same thoughts. It always brings theses verses into mind.
    Romans 7:19 “For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.”

    Romans 7:20 “Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

    Romans 7:21 “I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.”

    Is this free will or not free will?

    Greas article!
    Cathey Lynn

  4. Does it matter which soteriological model a person might accept? Does God conduct an examination asking questions on the precise accuracy of a person’s doctrine? Is the division described at Matthew 25:31-46 based on soteriological models? Or is the division based upon outcomes?
    Because Paul provided no soteriological explanation, Christianity’s 2000 year history has seen a succession of models. Augustine’s soteriology had dominated for 1000 years before Anselm created his model, only to be refuted by people such as Abelard and others.
    The judicial penal substitution model held by some is by no means the only current model. For example, it is strongly argued against by the Eastern (Orthodox) Church.
    Again I ask: Does God condemn those who do not agree with a certain soteriological model?
    Doug

  5. Good post Steven and one I have thought about today. This is my conclusion. I think that because we do have “free will” is indeed what makes God a sovereign God. I know that sounds like a contradiction in terms, but this is what I mean.

    He set it up that He is indeed the all powerful God. In doing so He said, “I am not going to be a dictator. My children are going to have the right to choose to sin or not to sin.” Even though He did this in no form or fashion did He ever lose His sovereignty.

    I say this because at the “end” we are all going to have to answer to Him. Even so that does not take away our “free will.”

    So when I look at His entire plan of slavation for mankind, that is what indeed makes God, God. To me He is saying, “You are a sinner. I have laid out this plan before you which is a path you can follow or not follow. If you follow it you will answer to Me. If you do not follow it you will answer to Me.” Either way we choose to go with our free will, it is all going to end up, with Him. So He does not control the strings of the “puppet” (us) controlling our thoughts, words, actions, or decisions.

    But…He created the “puppet” (us) and as our Creator will decide how it is all going to end up, with us. That is to me what makes Him, sovereign.

    God Bless, SR

  6. We have the freedom to choose God or not (ie. Jesus as our Savior and accept the work he did on the cross, and our saving grace through him). If God is the Alpha and the Omega, he must have knowledge of what will happen all through our linear time, but he knows the end, and He is the end, the beginning and is in His own time-space, which we do not understand. We can choose to be obedient, or not. If we are saved, he still may work with us so we do not choose to lie, cheat, steal, etc., but it is our choice if we do those things. We are not “puppets”, we have free will to choose our actions and whether we believe or not. I think He chooses who he reaches out to, and Jesus was given the people who will follow Him. In some way I believe God knows who is ultimately saved through Grace. I hope all this makes sense but it may not answer your points you are making.

  7. A common thread is the belief that we are all sinners and that somehow our goodness at the time of creation has been corrupted. The view of the Eastern Orthodox Church is that the integrity of human nature remains intact despite our transgressions, otherwise, God did not provide us with a robust goodness. God’s will is within us; our Nomic will come to the fore because of our doubts, fear of our mortality and corrupt conditioning from our early life experiences.

    For those who believe the creation story in Genesis, there are many questions to answer:

    1) why is there no explanation for God to place the tree of knowledge of good and evil in the garden of Eden?

    2) how was it possible for Adam and Eve to hide from God if He is Omnipresent?

    3) why does the Genesis account suggest that God was ignorant of what had happened if He is Omniscient?

    4) if God is good and Omnipotent, why didn’t He forgive Adam and Eve reset back to their previous condition?

    5) why did God allow Satan into the garden to tempt Eve knowing that she would yield to his persuasion?

    Eventually, we are led to believe that God would make everything right again by causing the Great Flood destroying everyone except the Noah and his wife (Naamah), his three sons, Shem, Ham, Japheth and their wives. Another chance for a reset but it went wrong because of Ham’s sin against his father who was drunk from the wine of his vineyard. Various sources differ about the nature of the sin from the literal seeing his father naked and telling his brothers, to committing sodomy on him or having sex with his father’s wife. What happened next is given in Genesis 9:25 KJV, “And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.” We have to wonder why Noah cursed Canaan (Ham’s son) and not Ham and it may lend credence to the view that Ham had sex with his mother and that she became pregnant with a son, Canaan? Hence sin came back to mankind starting with the Canaanites.

    Leviticus 18:8 King James Version (KJV)
    8 The nakedness of thy father’s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father’s nakedness.

    https://realityisnotoptional.com/2011/05/29/was-canaan-the-child-of-ham-and-noah%E2%80%99s-wife/

    Is God making frequent mistakes, are His attributes in question or are the scriptures not entirely reliable?

    I will leave those readers who are brave enough to ponder these questions to do so.

    Peace and love to all,

    Dinos

  8. Hi Steven. This is well written and thought out. However … regarding a statement you made: “Without God’s sovereignty, Calvinism doesn’t make sense, but with God’s sovereignty, Christianity doesn’t make sense.” As I noticed from your other writings, you have a desire to want things all wrapped up in black-and-white fashion. I sure do! However, when it comes to God, things just aren’t that way.

    The main issue is that God is infinite and all-knowing, and we are finite and limited in our knowledge. For instance, I totally believe in the doctrine of Election, which the Bible clearly teaches. It states, basically, based on Ephesians 1:4-5; 11; 2:8-9 and numerous other places, that God chose us to be His (to be saved) BEFORE He created the world. This indicates that those elected WILL be saved, and those not elected WON’T be saved. Yet, we are told that accepting Christ as Savior or rejecting Him is also a matter of choice and self-will.

    How can this be? To the finite mind, it certainly doesn’t make sense, but to God’s infinite mind, it makes perfect sense. When we enter the eternal state, we will certainly have more understanding.(You can read more on this in my blog, “A Practical View of Biblical Election”: http://wp.me/pUwhF-jx )

    So, too, does this apply to your understandable confusion over Calvinism (which I share with you). It’s a matter of our “finite limitations.” Some things must be accepted by faith even without fully understanding.

    Anyway, I appreciate your searching heart and fine writing skills.

    Take care, my friend!

    1. Hi David!

      Many thanks for your comment and for engaging with me on these issues, I appreciate it.

      It seems to me that you are happy to hold certain convictions about reality and theology yourself, so it is somewhat inconsistent to criticise me for trying to understand things about God. How do you deal with the reality that committed, thoughtful, Bible-studying Christians disagree profoundly on theological issues?

      I’m sure that you have many beliefs about a number of things that aren’t specifically addressed in the Bible – how did you reach a conclusion on those matters? An example would be (off the top of my head) whether exercise is good for you. Another example might be whether to marry a certain person. It seems that we are always making decisions; doesn’t this suggest a certain capacity for rational thinking and reasoning?

      I do appreciate your point that perhaps there are things that need to be accepted by faith. And I recognise that the Christian needs to do that. It comes back to the heart of what I was saying in my essay (An Almighty Predicament), that there are certain things that seem illogical to me about Christian doctrine, and it is very difficult to just ‘accept’ everything when certain things seem illogical and inconsistent.

      Blessings, friend!

      Steven

      1. Thanks Steve, appreciate the comments. Actually, I do agree with your points. One thing that struck me regarding what you wrote is the way all people are “hardwired” differently. For instance, I am black-and-white and pragmatic, making quick decisions rather than thinking them through at too great a length. Positively, this is good professionally as it helps me get a slew of stuff done. On the other hand, it could lead me to some hasty decisions.

        You, quite the opposite of me, are definitely more thoughtful, pondering, and considerate. You are more likely to take your time and weigh things, which is how more people should be. Most of my acquaintances have your qualities, which definitely helps balance out my more abrupt side.

        Another thing I considered in my comments and yours, is that when I say something, I should consider at what stage of life we’re at. I turn 60 in December, a father and grandfather, and have known the Lord for 31 years. Of course I view life, and issues regarding faith, differently than a much younger man or women.

        Of interest, though, is that we both came to know the Lord following family tragedy. You lost your mom; I lost both my mom (age 53), and one year to the day later, my dad (age 57). I was 28 and 29 at the time.

        Anyway, I’ll let you get back to getting your musical career off the ground!!!

        Have a great day and talk to you soon, my friend.

        In Christ,
        David E.

        1. Hi David,

          Bless you, I’m grateful for your warm and understanding comment. So sorry to hear you lost both of your parents at such a young age (I did read your testimony on your blog but couldn’t recall this). Wow, I can appreciate a little of how hard that must have been.

          I appreciate you have been on this planet a lot longer than me, and I respect that. But remember Jesus was only around 34 when He died, so wisdom isn’t always to be equated with age! 😃

          I haven’t even got around to focusing on music today, have been too busy with emails! It’s around 3pm and the day is flying by. I love it though. Aren’t we blessed to be able to blog, and be in touch with people all around the world?

          God bless you David, thanks again – I appreciate you!

          Steven

  9. I think Tozer explained it best : “God sovereignly decreed that man should be free to exercise moral choice, from the beginning has fulfilled that decree by making his choice between good and evil. When he chooses to do evil, he does not thereby countervail the sovereign will of God but fulfills it, inasmuch as the eternal decree decided not which choice the man should make but that he should be free to make it. If in His absolute freedom God has willed to give man limited freedom, who is there to stay His hand or say, “What doest thou?” Man’s will is free because God is sovereign. A God less than sovereign could not bestow moral freedom upon His creatures. He would be afraid to do so. “

    1. Thank you Liza! I believe that anything existing outside of the will of God is impossible. It comes down to how we understand the nature of God. Is God omnipresent? Is He in all the details, like the beating of our hearts? If so, we are not free. Totally respect your views though and grateful for your comment 🙂 Will check out your blog! Best wishes, Steven

  10. Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

    I must state my feeling that I’m uncomfortable with the expression, “We are all born as sinners.” Did God create us in “Our Image,” or not? I must maintain that we were configured to be good and that our human nature remains intact, despite our bad deeds.

    Since most readers on this site are Protestants of one kind or another, please consider this quote from Martin Luther.

    Martin Luther (1483 – 1546 AD) said, “God must be present in every single creature in its innermost and outermost being, on all sides, through and through, below and above, before and behind, so that nothing can be truly present and within all creatures than God Himself with His power.”

    Also, Martin Luther spoke of the omnipresence of the resurrected Body of Christ! Below is a link:

    http://justandsinner.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/defense-of-omnipresence-of-christs.html

    Steven, I would be most interested in your thoughts but I would welcome some constructive thoughts from other readers who may want to comment after serious consideration of Martin Luther’s work.

    Peace and love to all,

    Dinos

    1. Hi Dinos,
      You refer to Luther whereas Steven is speaking of Calvin. Their differences were not philosophical but were expressed lethally, without condemnation from either. Memorials in Switzerland to Calvin highlight their poor attitude towards Luther.
      And differences are manifested in many spheres. The 500 year-old judicial-substitution soteriological model lends itself to Augustine’s “original sin” concept whereas the Orthodox Church’s non-judicial soteriological model does not require that concept.
      Numbers of soteriological models have been created since the time of the Church Fathers. Compare and contrast the models produced by Augustine, Tertullian, Anselm, and Abelard as examples. Do the same with the range of soteriological models that are held today. This variety of models exists because of Paul’s failure to provide one.
      Up to the time of Jesus Christ, the Jewish notion of “salvation” centred on their national expectations, looking to the restoration of the nation that God’s chosen people should rightfully hold in the world. Even Paul spoke of salvation in these terms, in which Gentiles would be grafted onto Israel, and in this way “all Israel would be saved”.
      Does a soteriological model really matter? Does God say: “You are saved because you had the correct explanation”? Does God operate a graded examination which requires a 51% pass mark?
      Do any two people have the same soteriology? Does it matter if I do not have a model? Does it matter if I have the wrong model? I say that sin was created in order to rationalise Death. In other words, Death created Sin, and not the other way around.
      Doug

  11. Hi Doug

    You gave a good and comprehensive reply.

    My main point is that it has a negative effect to consider man as being in a fallen state and that the concept of sin has us chasing our tails trying and failing to improve and ever repentant. What matters is that we should be good to one another not so that we might be saved but out of genuine love for humanity.

    I agree with your explanation that sin was created to rationalise death. I would add that as we strive to improve our personal lives we should avoid doing so for personal gain when it causes a loss to others. A typical example is when agents are rewarded with bonuses for selling insurance services so they are more likely to sell people insurance they don’t need.

    Peace and love to all,

    Dinos

  12. Dear readers,

    You may be interested in a short passage from Romans 14 and the commentary from St John Chrysostom:

    Romans 14:22-23 King James Version (KJV)

    22 Hast thou faith? Have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
    23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.
    Those who have strong faith can follow their conscience before God and avoid sin.

    According to St John Chrysostom, those who are weak in faith may sin, not because their action is wrong but because in their hearts they think they are betraying God and proceed anyway. This action is sin because it does not come from that person’s faith.

    This may be an allusion to the Nomic will versus God’s will which is thought by the Church Fathers to indwell in us all.

    Peace and love to all,

    Dinos

  13. Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog Stephen! It’s nice to meet you. I so appreciate your authenticity and willingness to explore your faith. I’m sure Abba loves your thoughtful approach to your relationship with Him. Thank you for reminding me of my own journey in coming to understand this whole seeming contradiction.

    I actually came to understand and find peace with this whole debate through the study of literature. I had a wonderful professor who loved C.S. Lewis and read to our World Literature class from Lewis every time the class met. He created an entire course of World Literature that examined literary works that thematically embraced either the idea of free-will or fate (or for our discussion here, God’s Sovereignty). If you examine the ramifications of free-will versus a more fatalistic perspective in literature, you see the difficulty in trying to systematize theology for either camp.

    The fact of the matter is that Scripture teaches that both God’s Sovereignty and Man’s free will are 100% in play. Like a Venn diagram, the truth of how this works out is found in the overlay of the two circles. As humans we struggle to understand it because we try to systematize everything… to make ideas fit our linear thinking. While this kind of thinking has gotten humanity quite far, it nevertheless fall short. This is where our inability to escape our finite existence limits our understanding and perspective. In reality, God has allowed for the existence of a perfect tension between humanity’s free-will and God’s sovereignty.

    I do not pretend to be able to intellectually work it out or to break it down into systematic parts. But my study of world literature (as well as my own observations) has enabled me to see the pragmatic problems that occur in the world if one pursues or attempts to live out the idea of free-will or of fate (or God’s sovereignty for those of us who believe) to the exclusion of the other idea. Each view, to the exclusion of the other, presents horrific ramifications by way of human behavior. So, that is my take.

    In light of this, while a philosophical debate of this nature is interesting and somewhat profitable, I do believe that you and I are considerably out of our depth when we try to definitively draw absolute conclusions or create a closed philosophical system or explanation for God and the world. All our philosophy and human reasoning can only take us so far in our understanding. Ultimately, faith must embrace what God has said about it.

    Again, thank you for visiting my blog. I’ve enjoyed my visit here! You are a magnificent thinker and an honest seeker. I truly admire that! God bless you big time as you continue to seek Him!

    1. Hi Lynn!

      I’m so grateful for your thoughtful and thought-provoking comment. Great that we’re now connected – I’ll subscribe to your blog and will look forward to finding out more about you and your spiritual journey. Your artwork is amazing, by the way!

      I haven’t read a lot of CS Lewis yet, but I have The Screwtape Letters sitting on my bookshelf and I’ve read Mere Christianity. His books are often recommended so I will try to explore some more.

      I appreciate and understand your take on the free will versus God’s sovereignty debate. You seem to be happier with not fully understanding the predicament than I am. Actually, I do feel I understand the predicament very well (we don’t have free will), but the problem is that my understanding doesn’t square with Christianity. This is HARD because Christianity has been and is a big part of my life, and I fear God very much.

      I’m not sure whether or not you read my essay ‘An Almighty Predicament’ on the Essays page, but that explores the predicament in greater depth. I realise it’s quite a big ask to suggest you read a whole essay; you may not have time or may be certain enough of your own views that you wouldn’t want to bother. But it’s there if you’re interested, and I’d value your feedback (though I think you’ve made your position clear in your comment).

      I would never profess to understand everything about God and His relationship with the world. But I believe when we read things and think about things we naturally exercise reason. We try to understand things. So, for instance, if I said to you “Every three monster eats red with effort” you’d say I was talking nonsense. You can’t rationalise the sentence. Well, for whatever reason, the sentence “God is in control of everything that happens” makes perfect sense to me, perhaps because I have deeply considered the nature of God and His attributes. It’s not easy to suppress or ignore what I believe to be true (what I understand and what makes sense to me).

      How can I commit to a Christian worldview if it doesn’t make sense to me? That would be a strange thing to do. Maybe it’s the right thing to do, but isn’t it a little like living a lie? I have tried to fully immerse myself in the Christian life, but the problems and contradictions seem to keep coming back up to the surface.

      Anyhow, please keep in touch, and if you ever feel like commenting on any posts or emailing me that would be great.

      Thanks for your kind words, and God bless you big time as well!!

      Steven

  14. Hi, Stephen! My computer is having issues today… sorry, I must comment via my phone. Forgive me… I don’t believe I explained myself very well in my previous comment. Sigh. I just wish to explain again what I am fully convinced of—I believe that both God’s sovereignty and man’s free-will are 100% true. I see both in action… Thus, I don’t see this as an either/or proposition which can often lead to the logical fallacy known as a bifurcation. I only wished to note that the western world tends to see things linearally.

    In other words, what I’m suggesting is that this issue cannot be viewed in linearal terms. Thus, it isn’t a matter of being comfortable with something I don’t understand but rather of accepting that my culture’s linearal paradigm is inherently flawed when it comes to examining or reasoning about God and theology. I believe that although linearally the two ideas seem to contradict that they in fact are not in contradiction. If one looks at the full extent of either belief system unchecked by the other and if one were to try to follow first the one and then the other to its full ramifications without acknowledging the other idea, it would be easy to see how both must be 100% true as either idea/world view without the other results in a skewed and unlivable reality. Perhaps, you have been reading the works of modern atheists? It sounds as though you may have.

    I obviously don’t know you and so I don’t know exactly what your full thinking is (when I have a moment, I will read more as you suggest) but it may be that you are only looking at one theological system and concluding that if you can’t accept everything in that system that you have difficulty with Christianity. However, systematic theology is man’s way of organizing his understanding of God. Systematic theology is helpful but should not be placed on equal footing with Scripture or God. And quite honestly, each of the various systems, including Calvinism, has it’s own problems. Please do not judge the Word, God and Christ-Following on the basis of questions you have with humanity’s feeble attempts to systematize the teachings in God’s Word. Such systems by their very nature must over-simplify. That’s what systems do. But I believe God is supernatural and thus He cannot be placed in a systematic box that has been created by natural man in his attempts to quantify and qualify the supernatural. That was what I was trying to suggest in my previous comment. I hope that makes more sense now. 🙁

    Yes, I do think you would thoroughly enjoy CS Lewis as well as Josh McDowell… you are probably already familiar with Ravi Zaccharias, I suspect. All are brilliant defenders of Scripture. I thoroughly enjoy each. Like you, I have a background in Bible and theology…In fact, I have a degree in both Bible and Theology as well as in Mass Communications/journalism (thus, I tend to ask a lot of questions). I also have a masters degree in Literature and education; I am a former teacher, former journalist, wife of a former pastor now tent-maker, and daughter of a prominent (although dead now) scientist. I am now an artist. In addition, I am a stage 3 cancer survivor who cared for her mother who died of cancer. And so, you better believe that I have asked a lot of questions along the way. All this to say, I have tremendous empathy for your journey and for your questioning heart.

    Unfortunately, I don’t write blog posts about Christian Apologetics. My calling, instead, is to encourage people in their walk with Abba and in their practical understanding and application of scripture. Thus, I hope my blog will not disappoint you. I do believe, however, that many of life’s difficult questions about God are answered in the Word of God. I know that’s hard to fully grasp when you are in the middle of your very serious search. And I understand what it means to have that search complicated by grief and tremendous heartbreak. My heart breaks when I think of what you must suffer and have suffered. I wish to say that I am terribly sorry for your loss and that I am praying that God will comfort you and then, reveal His truth to you regarding your questions in a way that makes sense to you. I pray with all my heart that God will be especially near you during your journey.

    Thank you for following my blog, and for your kind words regarding my art. It means a great deal to me. By the way, my husband and I lived in Surrey for two years as he studied under a tutor at Cambridge and I taught in Cobham. I have a great love for your country. ☺️ God bless you greatly! It is wonderful to meet a fellow pilgrim of such authenticity! I am honored that you visited and followed my blog! All the very best to you! Cheers! ☺️

    1. Hi Lynn!

      Don’t tell me you wrote all that on you phone?! You must have sore fingers! 😉

      That’s wonderful that you have lived in England for a couple of years. I was actually born in Cambridge but my family moved to Oxfordshire when I was 4, and then I’ve been living in London since uni. Sounds like quite a journey God has taken you on (and I say ‘God has taken you on’ because I believe God has been in control of your life since conception, which is something I guess you would deny?).

      I don’t read any atheist works really, because I have no doubt at all that God exists. I’m more drawn to theology, and comparative religion. I also love to read about the history of Christianity and other religions, though I’m no historian.

      I don’t attribute my understanding of God to any particular school of thought or teaching, it’s just a result of my spiritual journey and many years of thinking, reading, pondering, and experiencing. I would love for you to read some more of my writing so you can understand my perspective, because from your comment it seems that you don’t yet understand what I believe (I wouldn’t expect you to after our brief conversation!).

      Let’s keep in touch, and you are always welcome to challenge me concerning anything you read here, should you feel the urge.

      God bless and thanks again!

      Steven

  15. One last thought that might be of encouragement to you, Stephen…A kind of analogy… most people don’t understand fully all the workings of a jet. We are neither the designers of planes or mechanics or even the pilots. Yet, we understand enough to put our lives in the hands of the pilot, to trust in the safety of the plane. My thought is this… faith is a journey. You don’t have to have every last detail figured out before you climb on the “plane”… when I climb on a plane, i have some doubts about whether it is safe, but I know enough to place my faith and life in the hands of the pilot and his craft. I can continue to ask questions and grow in understanding even though I’m on the plane, so to speak… and that would not be “living a lie?” as you so honestly asked in your thoughtful response to my previous comment. Hope that buoys your spirits some as you grapple with your questions! Looking forward to following your musical and philisophical journeys here! God bless you beyond all that you can imagine!

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